Bridging the culture gap

As I much as I make an effort to integrate myself with my american friends and society every single day, I still feel that there is much more to do to assimilate with this awesome open and a fair society. The need to assimilate quadrupled ever since I had a daughter 4 years ago. Why? Simply because she is a proud US citizen and I would like to let her think about her parents the same way.

Where do we start this assimilation process? It begins with baby steps.

COMMUNICATION:
It took me a great deal to improve on my communication as that is where it all begins. Never be afraid of changing the way you converse, listen to talk shows on radio and TV as this helped me a ton. Ability to think, respond and strike a conversation is what makes you a good social person.

UP BRINGING:
As much as we rave about our way (Indian or Chinese or any nativity) of upbringing, there is definitely an element of truth and benefit to the American style of upbringing especially when it comes to setting expectation with your kid, rewarding them for good behaviors and letting them know about the consequences of bad behavior. I am not suggesting that every kid in USA is raised the same way but USA certainly did teach me more about these proven techniques to raise a kid. It has helped me dealing with terrible 2's, containing tantrums and also letting my kid know that being humble and kind is the only way to move forward in life.

REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS:
This is one of the most important step in my opinion. As a parent, it is inevitable to assume that your kid is the smartest, brightest and the best. In real world, it doesn't work that way. You would always strive to give them the best in everything you can afford but at the same time, you may also refine your expectations as they grow. Hoping that they would never date anyone or never go to prom parties or never get involved in curious 'teen' activities is like living in paradise. Instead, you always let your kid know they should not disappoint you under any circumstances and that you are always there when they are in trouble. I mean any kind of trouble. This would give them the confidence that they have our backs if they go wrong. Instead of asking them what they did good today, ask them what they failed in. And, give them a chance to fail as failures are a stepping stone for success. Today, we have a great problem of rewarding kids even if they came last in a sprint race. This is not the way it should work.

FREEDOM:
We are fortunate to live in this free nation. That should also mean that we give that sense of freedom to our kids who would then have a mindset to explore. Of course, you would set boundaries but letting them pursue their goals or dreams is what makes them successful. They always know that you are there to support them during hard times. We are fortunate to have that luxury to support which never existed when we grew up. There was no room for maneuver back then.

I am hoping that these simple but powerful tools will help each parent to enjoy the benefits of raising kids in USA. There is no place better than this when it comes to pursuing dreams!